deserve | My Solution

It’s never as quick to learn how to leave a toxic relationship — not particularly when you are in love with your partner.

You know just how emotionally, physically and mentally draining it can be if you’ve been in a toxic relationship. But if it is so taxing to have a toxic relationship, why is it so difficult to leave?

You’ll find out why it’s hard to leave a toxic relationship in this article and how to leave a toxic relationship for good.

Knowing if you’re in a Toxic Relationship

It’s difficult sometimes to know whether or not you are in a toxic relationship. It is also because of the manipulation of the partner-toxicity involved.

Another explanation why accepting that you’re in a toxic relationship may be challenging is that there is no external violence. You may not be hit or cross any overt sexual boundaries by your partner, but that doesn’t mean you’re in a safe relationship.

When learning how to abandon a toxic relationship, making a pro/con list can be a helpful first move.

The benefit may be that your partner makes you laugh, that you enjoy the same interests, and that you love them.

But in your present circumstances, what are the cons of being?

It’s important to be honest with yourself when you build this list. Is any of the above done by your partner?

Doesn’t provide you with privacy

Break you off from family/friends/finances

Prevents you from attending work or school

Regulation and envy

Giving all the options in your relationship

Pressures you into stuff in which you are not happy

Criticises you frequently

Is faithless

Talks to you down

Property Destroys

Sends text messages that are threatening

Invades your privacy – checks/follows you on your phone/social media

Threatens to do something bad if you get out of the relationship

Gaslights/acts as the stuff they do are not a big deal.

If you are reminded of your partner by these destructive habits, this could be the wake-up call you need to take action and get out of your dangerous relationship.

Why do toxic relationships persist with individuals?

Oxytocin is one of the key culprits. Oxytocin is a hormone produced during periods of intimacy in your body. This may involve making love with others, holding hands, hugging, or even cuddling.

It causes you to be more trusting of your partner when oxytocin is released, even when trust is not warranted. Often this sly little hormone is guilty of bonding promotion, which can make it seem difficult for your partner to quit, even though you know they’re not right for you.

Besides the influence of oxytocin, there are 5 other factors that make it hard to leave a toxic relationship:

Emotional abuse

Emotional abuse can be debilitating for everyone, leaving the person vulnerable without self-esteem, making it impossible to make a decision to start again.

Life threatening

It can be risky to leave a toxic relationship, leading to all kinds of effects, including death. Data indicates that a toxic partner kills a greater percentage of women after leaving a toxic relationship in weeks than when they stay in the relationship.

Social burden

There is always social pressure to want a relationship from friends, family members, etc This pressure only makes the situation worse.

Societal reaction

People don’t really want to confess to someone that they are going through a tough time that cuts through relationships. For fear or guilt of being blamed or criticised, people in abusive relationships don’t want to accept the kind of violence they are going through.

Consequences of emotional stress

Afraid

This is a continuing concern or experience of risk. You tend to have confidence problems with someone with whom you find yourself that building a relationship becomes an overtime problem.

Disgrace

You may not feel free to connect with someone who knows what you’ve learned, such as friends, family members, etc., which can also contribute to isolation.

Perplexity

Your mind is always wandering, and you tend to lose concentration and can’t concentrate on a single assignment.

Narcotics or drinking

Violence also contributes to improper use of medicine and drinking. It is an illusion to believe that it will take away the pain.

Suicide

If there is so much pain and trauma, it can always result in the group taking their lives.

Trouble with sleep

You don’t have to love sleep the way you do. Anxiety and emotions become the order of every moment.

Quitting a toxic relationship

Find the better you deserve

You’ll never find someone better than your partner will wear on you in months or years of being told, and you might even begin to believe it. But it’s not real.

What abusers do is break down self-esteem and self-worth to keep their victims stuck in the relationship.

Let this be “I deserve better!” “Become your motto every day. Every day, remind yourself of your worth.

You have tried your best to make your relationship work, but love is not enough sometimes and for your own mental and physical well-being, you need to move on.

Creating support

The feelings you have for a toxic breakup are just the same as going through a good relationship breakup. You’re going to feel conflicted, lovesick, relaxed, sad, and much more.

If you have been financially dependent on your ex, leaving a toxic relationship is particularly difficult, but don’t despair!

When you take the plunge, instead of concentrating on why this will be challenging, concentrate on creating a support structure that you will need. Research indicates that help from friends and family decreases psychological distress during difficult times.

Getting a system of help around would make it easier for you to move forward.

Make firm decision

Breakups, no matter what the case is are tough. You’re leaving a life you’ve grown used to, and even if you know it’s no longer healthy to have a relationship, it still hurts, leaving the life you’ve built for yourself.

There may be moments when your partner is tempted to get back, but stand firm! You deserve a partner who supports and loves you.

Do not offer some false hope to your ex of getting back together. In your decision to leave the relationship, be firm and do not move.

Cut off all contacts

One of the biggest times for leaving a dysfunctional relationship will be after you’ve broken up, cutting off all touch with your ex.

In order to get back together, staying in touch with your ex opens the door for you. Plus, it will make the memory of the relationship feel fresh in your mind to see your ex via social media. When you feel that here’s what to do.

Focus on the future, keep yourself focused instead of living in the past. Remove your ex from social media, block your phone and find ways to stop seeing your ex in person. These acts are going to make it clear you don’t want anything to do with them.

Remove the damaged part

You have already tried all the tricks to get your partner to change their abusive ways if you are at the point of breaking up.

You may have gone to rehab, taken a relationship class, or made date nights a priority, but nothing worked.

Your spouse will not improve, and it’s necessary to always remind yourself of this.

You did what you could to encourage them and to reason with them and it didn’t work out. After a divorce, do not expect miracles.

It is definitely only because of the shock of the divorce, even though an abusive ex changes his ways. Their risk of returning to their abusive actions is extremely high if you get back together.

It is one thing to learn how to leave a toxic relationship, but to follow through with it is a completely different storey. If you have trouble leaving an abusive or toxic spouse, reach out to an abusive relationship help line like Day One to a trusted friend, family, or call/text/chat.

Ultimate experience

It is also a feeling of commitment or depression to want to get out of a toxic one instantly to get into another relationship. Take it simple, learn to find yourself, and think about how the last one started, so you don’t have the same experience. Before thinking about moving into a new one, take your time to recover fully from past relationship hurts and pains.

I used to hate any cliché about forgiveness that exists.
It seems that forgiveness is like the greatest betrayal to our very own selves. After what has happened to us, we don’t want to give up the fight for justice. We want blood for blood, and it is our ego that is burning and giving birth to red hot rage and toxicity right in the middle of this situation that begins to pump throughout our system.

Rage becomes an intrinsic part of the body and makes us oblivious to the fact that harm has already been done and things can not be resolved by revenge. By repeating the scenario of what has happened to us and continuing to feed the fire raging inside us, we hurt ourselves every day. Let me tell you that this is just your anger speaking and remember that wishing pain and suffering for anyone can not bring you the treasure of surreal happiness. We all want peace and think that if we see the person suffering who once made us suffer, our mind and soul will calm.

It won’t wash away the pain of what’s happened to you and give you immediate peace, so try to forgive, but it’s one of the key tools that can help you survive the long, uphill peace fight.
Forgiveness is a selfish thing to do because, because of what has happened to us, it means getting ready to stand up on our feet, take the control back into our hands and refuse to live a miserable existence. It means giving up hope for a different past and heading into the future path of glowing and rising bravely and optimistically.
As everybody makes mistakes, forgive others and yourself and that is what makes us human. Every day, we are mere creatures doing our best, fighting our own battles to create a better world for us.

Don’t forget to forgive yourself when forgiving others as well. Since you are also a hero and, however, in shining armour, you are your very own knight.

Today, forgive yourself for the ways that you have chosen to struggle through your suffering. Your instinct of survival that developed when you were unable to control your pain and hurt, doesn’t make you a bad human being. As you have done everything you can think of and managed to survive and find your way back to life, it makes you stronger and courageous.

Forgive yourself for changing your mind about the things that were your ultimate dream target you once believed were. In an ever-growing world, we all live and get to learn something new about people and different things every day. So it’s our responsibility to forgive ourselves for having the self-awareness of some very big things to change our minds.

Forgive yourself for not being enough loving. Often in your life, there may be someone who is willing to give up everything for you and do his / her best every day to give you everything, but even though you forced yourself to, you still can’t love them. Love is something that can’t be pushed into being, it’s something that automatically flourishes. So don’t feel bad, because you deserve the love that sparks your soul and brings sunshine to your life , making it fun and easy to give and take.

Forgive yourself for all the chances that you haven’t taken and all the things that you haven’t written. Anything to do or say is never too late. So get up and go to that destination, make that call and send that I miss you text because it’s never too late and trust me that God has his own thing for the best to work out.

And eventually, resolve to forgive yourself and others for all the mistakes we haven’t made yet and we’re going to mess up again and maybe bigger than we’ve done before, but we’re going to get to know something different and bigger than the previous one as well. Life is too short to sit and waste your energy hating someone in one place and in one condition. Make space for more mistakes, step and forgive out of your comfort zone. As there are a lot of encounters waiting for you to be experienced and a lot of faces to be kissed that wait to love you more than you could have expected, move on and love more people. So take and forgive a step forward.