It’s never as quick to learn how to leave a toxic relationship — not particularly when you are in love with your partner.
You know just how emotionally, physically and mentally draining it can be if you’ve been in a toxic relationship. But if it is so taxing to have a toxic relationship, why is it so difficult to leave?
You’ll find out why it’s hard to leave a toxic relationship in this article and how to leave a toxic relationship for good.
Knowing if you’re in a Toxic Relationship
It’s difficult sometimes to know whether or not you are in a toxic relationship. It is also because of the manipulation of the partner-toxicity involved.
Another explanation why accepting that you’re in a toxic relationship may be challenging is that there is no external violence. You may not be hit or cross any overt sexual boundaries by your partner, but that doesn’t mean you’re in a safe relationship.
When learning how to abandon a toxic relationship, making a pro/con list can be a helpful first move.
The benefit may be that your partner makes you laugh, that you enjoy the same interests, and that you love them.
But in your present circumstances, what are the cons of being?
It’s important to be honest with yourself when you build this list. Is any of the above done by your partner?
Doesn’t provide you with privacy
Break you off from family/friends/finances
Prevents you from attending work or school
Regulation and envy
Giving all the options in your relationship
Pressures you into stuff in which you are not happy
Criticises you frequently
Talks to you down
Sends text messages that are threatening
Invades your privacy – checks/follows you on your phone/social media
Threatens to do something bad if you get out of the relationship
Gaslights/acts as the stuff they do are not a big deal.
If you are reminded of your partner by these destructive habits, this could be the wake-up call you need to take action and get out of your dangerous relationship.
Why do toxic relationships persist with individuals?
Oxytocin is one of the key culprits. Oxytocin is a hormone produced during periods of intimacy in your body. This may involve making love with others, holding hands, hugging, or even cuddling.
It causes you to be more trusting of your partner when oxytocin is released, even when trust is not warranted. Often this sly little hormone is guilty of bonding promotion, which can make it seem difficult for your partner to quit, even though you know they’re not right for you.
Besides the influence of oxytocin, there are 5 other factors that make it hard to leave a toxic relationship:
Emotional abuse can be debilitating for everyone, leaving the person vulnerable without self-esteem, making it impossible to make a decision to start again.
It can be risky to leave a toxic relationship, leading to all kinds of effects, including death. Data indicates that a toxic partner kills a greater percentage of women after leaving a toxic relationship in weeks than when they stay in the relationship.
There is always social pressure to want a relationship from friends, family members, etc This pressure only makes the situation worse.
People don’t really want to confess to someone that they are going through a tough time that cuts through relationships. For fear or guilt of being blamed or criticised, people in abusive relationships don’t want to accept the kind of violence they are going through.
Consequences of emotional stress
This is a continuing concern or experience of risk. You tend to have confidence problems with someone with whom you find yourself that building a relationship becomes an overtime problem.
You may not feel free to connect with someone who knows what you’ve learned, such as friends, family members, etc., which can also contribute to isolation.
Your mind is always wandering, and you tend to lose concentration and can’t concentrate on a single assignment.
Narcotics or drinking
Violence also contributes to improper use of medicine and drinking. It is an illusion to believe that it will take away the pain.
If there is so much pain and trauma, it can always result in the group taking their lives.
Trouble with sleep
You don’t have to love sleep the way you do. Anxiety and emotions become the order of every moment.
Quitting a toxic relationship
Find the better you deserve
You’ll never find someone better than your partner will wear on you in months or years of being told, and you might even begin to believe it. But it’s not real.
What abusers do is break down self-esteem and self-worth to keep their victims stuck in the relationship.
Let this be “I deserve better!” “Become your motto every day. Every day, remind yourself of your worth.
You have tried your best to make your relationship work, but love is not enough sometimes and for your own mental and physical well-being, you need to move on.
The feelings you have for a toxic breakup are just the same as going through a good relationship breakup. You’re going to feel conflicted, lovesick, relaxed, sad, and much more.
If you have been financially dependent on your ex, leaving a toxic relationship is particularly difficult, but don’t despair!
When you take the plunge, instead of concentrating on why this will be challenging, concentrate on creating a support structure that you will need. Research indicates that help from friends and family decreases psychological distress during difficult times.
Getting a system of help around would make it easier for you to move forward.
Make firm decision
Breakups, no matter what the case is are tough. You’re leaving a life you’ve grown used to, and even if you know it’s no longer healthy to have a relationship, it still hurts, leaving the life you’ve built for yourself.
There may be moments when your partner is tempted to get back, but stand firm! You deserve a partner who supports and loves you.
Do not offer some false hope to your ex of getting back together. In your decision to leave the relationship, be firm and do not move.
Cut off all contacts
One of the biggest times for leaving a dysfunctional relationship will be after you’ve broken up, cutting off all touch with your ex.
In order to get back together, staying in touch with your ex opens the door for you. Plus, it will make the memory of the relationship feel fresh in your mind to see your ex via social media. When you feel that here’s what to do.
Focus on the future, keep yourself focused instead of living in the past. Remove your ex from social media, block your phone and find ways to stop seeing your ex in person. These acts are going to make it clear you don’t want anything to do with them.
Remove the damaged part
You have already tried all the tricks to get your partner to change their abusive ways if you are at the point of breaking up.
You may have gone to rehab, taken a relationship class, or made date nights a priority, but nothing worked.
Your spouse will not improve, and it’s necessary to always remind yourself of this.
You did what you could to encourage them and to reason with them and it didn’t work out. After a divorce, do not expect miracles.
It is definitely only because of the shock of the divorce, even though an abusive ex changes his ways. Their risk of returning to their abusive actions is extremely high if you get back together.
It is one thing to learn how to leave a toxic relationship, but to follow through with it is a completely different storey. If you have trouble leaving an abusive or toxic spouse, reach out to an abusive relationship help line like Day One to a trusted friend, family, or call/text/chat.
It is also a feeling of commitment or depression to want to get out of a toxic one instantly to get into another relationship. Take it simple, learn to find yourself, and think about how the last one started, so you don’t have the same experience. Before thinking about moving into a new one, take your time to recover fully from past relationship hurts and pains.