In our lives, we all have questions and dilemmas. It’s just what I should have for breakfast most of the time, but sometimes these issues can be very substantial. But I figure there’s only one way to solve all of them, whether it’s a large one or a small one.
Understand the problem
We need to understand, first, what the problem is. There are times that we overthink things so much that we just forget what it was and start tackling the wrong problem eventually. We need to know in one sentence what the issue is in order for it not to happen.
Cause of the problem
The second stage consists of understanding the cause of the problem. The first step in finding a cure is to find the cause and the very origin of the infection when a virus spreads (I know this is not the best example right now).Similarly, we need to discover the cause if we want to find a solution to a complication.
Solving the problem
Here, this is where it gets complicated. We need to know how we are affected by this issue and how much time we have to fix it. Treating it from the root would be the safest approach.
Whatever the cause of this dilemma is, get rid of it and do what’s best for you, make your world fall apart. This should be straightforward, because it means that you are in some deep trouble if solving a problem is itself a problem! You need to make a list of pros and cons of both ways your case might go if it’s a confusion, which will clear your mind and help you make the right choice. The trick is to know how much you need and to be positive about your goals. The most important point if you are struggling with anything important is not to make spur of the moment decisions. It can be very risky to have knee jerk reactions.
Life is unbelievable. Here, in its peculiar ways, nothing is permanent but life. Uncertainty pushes all around. The only certainty of life is confusion. Had it been a safe phenomenon, the very magic would have been lost. Time is the very soul thereof. One who knows the soul will surge at ease with its numerous currents. The unconscious is the justification for multiple miseries. Mostly, suffering is nothing but our indifference, our mechanical sleep, and our deep connection of repeatability. As pure as creation, the soul is. It knows the forms that are right. But in between, we interfere and suffer. Every moment of tension continues to change life. Our acceptance can however, make it more beautiful. Our choice to be involved or casual is still left behind.
Time has a beautiful process for letting us know what is significant or irrelevant. It’s ironic that we always remain the victims of our own actions. At any stage of life, self- audit or introspection is a must. There comes a time when you know that all your attempts to gather more have gone astray and feel robbed. Time never returns, however. Time kills the one who kills time.
The moment we change our life’s pattern from collecting to sharing, in a different avatar, we experience life or time. We’re starting to enjoy life. We are becoming more conscious and making life more aesthetic. We believe that we have arrived and generated good feelings. The feelings are juicy and the very foundation of our vibrant or indifferent being. It’s ‘time’ to remember the time’ and its real significance. Life is time. It is a gift, but in a small quantity, from the production. It’s not to be spent only chasing emotional, material, or insanity.
Meditation, harmony and wellbeing is utter watching. This means finding inner pleasure that lacks the periphery. It is a chance to try for freedom from earthly inconsistencies. Material is material only. As both are required in proportion, such understanding is supreme and a help to rise above the pain or enjoyment. The explanation for true flowering is the former.
The endless desires are barriers to absorb existence. The pain could be one of the reasons to connect with the inner or divine. In whatever form time approaches, there is always a reason to appreciate life. One who follows existence with total devotion transcends the abnormalities with ease. It is all in the heart to do the repairs of irreparable ones. Patience coupled with flexibility is a tool for such repairs. However, the anxiety which is the mind’s favourite stuff creates confusion. We keep on killing time by conflicting with life’s newness and suffer. It is ‘time’ to understand time in a far more meaningful way to move higher and higher.
Do you think there’s a Superpower that is always favouring you? Yeah, it has to do with your good deeds. No matter how hard life gets, or how poorly you are handled by people, never let your positive thoughts go. It’s just a matter of time that tests you, and a lot of patience. With negative thinking, you don’t have to interrupt your mind, just wait for the right timing, and things happen.
Your creation hinders your haters. But why rely on haters? Negativity breaks you. So just do well, sit back and watch the player strike back against the pioneers who were planning the game against you.
Sorrow, tragedy, unhappiness, there are many other negative words make us run away from such a scenario, topic or place. We don’t want some sort of negativity around us, and we do so many things because of that. We’re denying it, dissuading it and even paying too much to stop grief. We are opposed to persons and elements that offer us negativity. But too many times, in preventing such situations, we do not succeed, as much as we want to shy away from such things. But it’s not knocking on your window, it’s pressing in, knocking down the doors. We’re not able to do that and we collapse back on our faces.
Sorrow comes with so many respects. Financial, material, man-made or natural disasters, social failure, failure to investigate, loss of dear ones, and a myriad of forms, big and small. It takes away your vitality and your peace of mind. You’re such a mess. Why lament over spilled milk, though? Why do you become a recluse or find yourself a failure? Something that is unavoidable is bound to happen, if one recognises a situation as it is and does not get confused or lie about it to others as well as oneself, then I feel half the fight is won, there is no point in cursing yourself or others about one’s situation.
I would repeat my words again that it is most important to accept a situation. Acceptance is one of those elements of one’s mind that can make you a winner, and if it isn’t there a person will end up battling, weeping, living in an imaginary world, and finally end up in a pathetic situation.
Man proposes and God disposes, as it is said. Choices that we create for the good of ourselves and our loved ones often turn out to be absolutely wrong. Such choices cause pain and division between the members of the family. Then a long chain of quarrels and a game of blame begins. These quarrels and allegations result in people damaging each other for life and thus ending the relationship in turn. But why not embrace each other the way the person is, instead of souring auspicious life relations. I’m not saying this way, there won’t be any sorrow. Hard words, demoralising words, ignorant words will harm the heart, but at least there will be acceptance of the other person’s actions and you will manage the situation better, the sorrow will teach you patience and wisdom to cope with the situation.
We are powerless at times in the face of such circumstances. Aside from tolerating them, there is nothing else we can do. We need to develop patience for such occasions, and that is too much. In India, the list is long, from waiting in long queues to traffic jams. I’m going to add a terrible supervisor to that. What is one willing to do? If the job is not so important, a queue may be left, but a jam has to be crossed on the head with a brick of ice. There is no point in continuously honking as it will just add to the noise pollution and you will be hurled at by some abuses. Similarly, one has to live with a bad boss and learn the ability to stop or retaliate with silken blows. How successfully you can tolerate your boss is up to your nature, but acknowledging his horror and the wound of your fate with him will bring you less sorrow than anything else.
Sorrow comes in several forms; a partner’s moodiness, a friend, a colleague, or even a supervisor, who passes you on a fine day with a snide joke, making you nervous and throwing you off and bringing sorrow. For whatever excuse, plans run foul and cause you too much unhappiness, a feeling of depression, a feeling of repeated failure at things, an opportunity missed, a friendship that you are looking forward to an investment or even an arrangement to spend a nice time with family.
What does one do on such occasions? Tell yourself loudly that the end of the world is not here. Stand in front of the mirror and say vehemently to yourself that nothing has gone wrong. Again the sun will rise. You’re going to climb again. Accept the situation and immediately prepare stuff for the next occasion. Do more homework this time look at loopholes and make a proposal that is airtight. Don’t fear yourself of failing. See it and bounce back as a preparatory round. You will not see sorrow as sorrow in this way, but a path to cross and step on into a happier life that is successful.
A strong tree is not strong because it has stronger branches, but deep down in the earth it has the strongest roots and that is why a tree can not be extirpated. As every other tree, however, our personality is only a branch, while our emotions are the roots of our minds. The more feedback we provide to our thinking, the deeper the roots become. The key compost to our roots is ‘showing off to strengthen and extend its space and cover the full portion of our thought process. These secret and silent mechanisms make us so miserable that the root cause of our misery is scarcely found. Do we fail to know, do we not even come to understand why we suffer? And that’s why, by blaming other people for their inner pain, most of us find the explanation outside the universe! Isn’t it ridiculous and funny?
But that is the way that it is… We live in a world in which we are surrounded by people whose main aim is to show off their lives! They pretend and project all the time that what they have done is remarkable. How much they’ve won is just amazing. They also want to demonstrate how to relax their lives by spending enormous cash on luxury and comfort, and how happy they are. And they have to run like Bolt, think like Jobs, behave like Ambani, and work like a machine to become richer and wealthier to retain this so-called position. And they think that what they were yesterday, today or tomorrow, can’t be the same. They need to keep upgrading their status from now on so that people can never mark them a loser!
It means that by worrying about what others think about them, they live every single moment of their life! That’s why they make sure that no one can regard them as an average man, who has decoded the true meaning of happiness, who understands the life process, and who knows the ultimate purpose of his life. These people have a world of their own, where they are the rulers and creators of their own lives. Only to appease their subtle ego, they receive nothing but the admiration of others. They don’t believe it is worth living unless and until individuals don’t appreciate their accomplishments. That is why they never admire themselves unless they are not respected by people. Slow & steady, they become so reliant on others that they constantly need to praise and remind them how superior you are to one or the other person around them. Yet they know, the one who praises is only trying to trick him, and yet, this lie is recognised as a universal fact!
But the truth is a mystery that can not be solved until the mental state of acceptance and denial is achieved. In the circle of greed, ego and desire, the acceptance of being no one and ignorance of others, especially those who make us predictable fools and bind us. A wise person can maybe sacrifice his integrity just to fulfil his ego’s never-ending appetite. As the ego builds a circle of greed and wishes, as it is satisfied, the essence of desire is to extend further. We have to accept the very simple fact that suffering is the product of ego and desire. As long as they remain and grow, the ego of self and desire for praise induces pain in each one of our lives. That’s why we should obey Bhagavad Gita’s teachings, which clarify that unless we surrender the meaning of I, which is nothing but Ahamkara, harmony can not be attained.
An ever-widening rift between us and our destination can be created by excuses in the way of our objectives. Efforts done rightfully will get us closer to our target.
Our journey is at times, peppered with lame defences. We attempt to persuade ourselves that we are unable to accomplish our goals because of external circumstances; whereas the blame lies inside ourselves. In Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar, Cassius quoted sagaciously, “The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, but in ourselves…”
What we really aspire to do what we accomplish, is completely certain. But even encouragement from external quarters such as family, colleagues, motivational videos, etc does not prove helpful if our efforts are expelled by excuses. A rather old adage still holds value: “God supports those who help themselves.” Even those who fail to work are not helped by God. Until and unless they get up and attempt to walk their route, those who luxuriate in laziness will separate themselves from their performance. I have met people who blame it all on fate. Destiny is a word which is overwhelmed. What is fate? Isn’t that what we do by our thoughts and actions? There is definitely a Higher Force that rules us, but that divine energy is so idle that it regulates our every step. No way, the omnipotent, omnipresent, omniscient protector gave us free will. The way we want to live is for us to know.
But the notion of someone strong manoeuvring our lives is easy to play with, rather than the soldier on our journey. There is hardly any remorse that way. Excuses keep us and our comfort zone reconciled. Much beyond our protected cocoon lies development and glory.
A port ship is secure, but that’s not what ships are for,” one of the most inspiring axioms I’ve encountered.” I feel that a ship is also not safe in the harbour if it stays there for a longer period of time. With rust, it can decay. Owing to stagnation, engines can be jammed. How will mortal Homo sapiens thrive in the prolonged stagnation of inactivity if a system can not endure the monotony of rest? In the quagmire of dormancy, the trail of excuses may include us.
From Mother Nature, let’s learn. She sleeps barely because of her bounty. It melts into noon in the morning and dusk dissolves into a dark night. One season gives way to a new one. The summer bustle is surrendering itself to fall. The numbness of the winters is taken over by spring’s benevolence, which too, does not last long. Nature reclaims her vitality in its hibernation and sprouts with renewed majesty into greatness. The world meditates in solitary isolation even in the cold, ruthless winters and bounces buoyantly into the floral embrace of the spring season.
We must not waste our childbirth by prolonging our rest period. Our life is nothing other than the moments we live. We must ensure that efforts are given more value than excuses. Let’s record in a journal before we sleep every day, whether our day has been consumed by excuses or efforts. Let’s also write about a small move toward our target, and let’s not forget the reasons we gave ourselves. This practise will generate mindfulness. It will help us overcome doubts and insecurities of our own. We would be able to explore limitless possibilities awaiting our awakening by being truthful with ourselves. In radiating a rewarding personality, we will succeed.
Procrastination is the act of delaying a task or collection of tasks or postponing them. We still say that we procrastinate at all times! If there is something important that needs good effort to be done, we generally procrastinate it. Procrastination has become a derogatory word over the past few years since it is cited as one of the key causes of our failures. Procrastination is often considered a disease as well! You tell people that you are procrastinating, so they immediately start giving you a lot of suggestions about how to stop it. There are thousands of ways for people to tell you to quit postponing work. The truth, however, is we can’t. We’re not able to deter procrastination.
About why? Since we are delaying or postponing anything in each movement. We aren’t? We do something in each moment and postpone other works. You’re waking up and postponing your night right now. Who would stop you from sleeping? You. You. Waking up is delayed while you are sleeping. What is stopping you from getting up? You. You. You’ve got the option of what to do and what to postpone. The actor is you. You are accountable for doing something and for delaying something else. Ever. Always. So, we’re never able to stop procrastinating. Even the entire function of our body is based on procrastination. Why are we treating procrastination as an immoral habit? Since we are postponing nice stuff! As easy as that. Are we postponing depression or rage? Never. Never. Are we delaying happiness? Yes. Yes. What? How? We’re setting requirements. We’ll get a job if we work hard and we’ll be satisfied. You’ve delayed happiness.
Do we set conditions for frustration? If everything is done, then we’re going to get furious. Or unexpectedly it just comes. Delay the sorrow and be grateful. Right now, do what makes you happy. Right now, do what makes you happier. Why postpone it for the future? Now do the right things. Research right away. Right now work. Delaying bad stuff. Delaying needless things. We’ve got a option. But we still postpone significant and correct things in the way we work. Society imposes on us the working mechanism. In this mechanism, we are taught to believe. That’s why, because we see satisfaction in college life, we work hard in school. In college, we study hard because we see satisfaction in a good salaried career. In the workplace, we work hard because we see peace in retirement. Yet we never feel happy and it still prevents happiness. I’m not asking you to delay your hard work, just the way you delay satisfaction with your hard work.
Let me have an example for you. We feel good at solving it and happy after solving it if we solve a difficult mathematical problem or a difficult task (if it is chosen by ourselves). Yeah, we can feel stressful, but due to delayed frustration, anxiety and depression, that’s okay. Delay the things that, right now, make you furious, nervous and sad. And begin doing the things that right now make you happy and fulfilled. Find anything like that out and don’t delay it. And you have a preference. The actor is you.
The well-resolved mind is single and single-pointed, but the object of the unresolved mind is endless and multi-branched. -BHAGWAT GITA You must achieve certain qualities when you are in your student life that make your life beautiful and efficient. The secret energy, that is, the concentration available to any human being on this planet. We see an absolute stillness among men and animals, which is necessary to gain food and wealth or to gain superpowers. We all possess instinctive strength, but most people are unaware of it. This power is like fertile soil, where we can crop the seed, so that you can get a better fruit from it.
Center your mind, like Arjuna ‘s bow. Guru Drona asked Pandavas and Kauravas about the bird that sat on the branch of a tree. We all know the storey from the Mahabharata. Every single one except. Arjuna gave common, unfocused answers, but only Arjuna said, ‘I can see the bird’s eye,’ and he centred his bow and hit the bird’s eye. So our mind should be concentrated, our mind should function simultaneously with several thoughts. You’ll certainly become a hero with a controlled mind if you collect these thoughts and make them single-pointed. It’s just like the magnifying glass that transforms the light’s scattered rays into concentrated single-pointed rays to burn.
Well mean is something that carries harsh words and straight forward is what carried a fact, the only difference is that mean can hurt a lot and can not be forgotten while the truth can be spoken in a respectful manner straight forward.
I can’t speak for other people, but there is a huge difference, I think, between being easy and being mean.
I know a few straightforward people, and I enjoy their company, actually. Since they say what’s on their mind, and between the lines, you don’t need to guess their purpose. Communication makes it simple. They make it really clear that they’re not happy or they’re not happy about something and they tell you why. They even express their happiness very frankly when they’re excited about something. They express their gratitude with their entire heart when you help them out. They point it out when you make a mistake and ask you to make a improvement.
In the other hand, a mean person is bitter and manipulative. To belittle and injure other people, they hide behind “honesty” or “being straightforward.” They exploit the feelings of other people to get what they want. They blame other people for their mood when they’re not happy; when other people help them out, they always take the credit and never say thank you unless they really had to; they make a mistake, they laugh at you; they tell you that you did something good, they tell you that you’re never going to compare with them. They’re too greedy that they’re never going to consider the chance that someone could be better than them. They just hurt people intentionally: by their words and by their behaviour. If they’re telling the truth, it ought to be about bringing people down. They’re just talking to submissive individuals to tell them how much control they have. For their own gain, they just alter their claims.
But they’ll play the victim when you rat them out, asking you to embrace their “honesty.” I do not hate straightforward people, I do not like manipulative and cruel people with “honesty” hiding their spite. Typically I stay quiet when a person exhibits a mean behaviour in front of me. I don’t want to demonstrate animal behaviour as an person,
Let me try to give you a couple of actionable measures. They are the following:—
1. Comprehension
You see, you’ve got to know that you’re in one hell of a downhill trip, and things could get worse. For a bit, all is not going to be hunky dory.
2. Acknowledgement.
Acceptance is the next step. Well, yeah, yeah, you’re in a tuff position, and it looks to you like shit could really hit the fan soon. Good! Good, good! Once you acknowledge that you are on the brink of tragedy, you empower yourself by acknowledging the facts.
Always think positive
3. Time
Now, this is something that you have to recognise and know that times are still going to change. In 6 months or so, the tuff spot in which you are now won’t actually be there. Things are going to improve and if you have hit rock bottom somewhere, then be grateful. There are good times going!
4. Grit.
You are already forging the way to a better future until you understand and embrace the present situation you are in. You may still not know it, but you are. Now you know what’s wrong and you can always come up with a solution because you know that. I ‘d advise you to stay away from social media and inspiration when on this road of transformation. Not culture, nor social media. There will be nothing good coming out of Facebook. Say no to inspiration as well. Today, you can be inspired and sad tomorrow because you are not where your inspired self expected you to be. Go for grit and determination instead. Rarely should they let you down.
5. Let loose
If you are a man or a woman, I don’t know, but I would advise you to weep from time to time. You see, we eventually end up bearing emotional baggage as we go through tough times. Let go of the luggage. You don’t need them. You will be left with a light feeling in your heart after you sob on your heart out and clarity will soon follow.
Always Smile
6. Head down.
Not to make needless noise is what I mean here. You now know what’s wrong, you have thoroughly screamed out your heart at the unfairness of the situation and cursed life and God, and now you can add insight to what should be done. Keep your head down and keep working until you find it out. Don’t go back down the self pity loop. It will not aid.
7. Patience
When you’re busy building a better tomorrow for yourself and your colleagues, from time to time, you’ll end up being frustrated and impatient. This is where patience is required. It takes up to 50 years for a mango tree to grow and bear its first fruit. By pulling at the little sapling, you can’t hasten the growth process.
8. Meditation
I know, in this section, you might be cringing. In the modern world, meditation is way overrated. I am not asking you to be a guru, however. You see, we get stressed out when we are in a tuff position and invariably get nervous. A stressed mind, an agitated mind, is my friend’s troubled mind, and you have to tame it ASAP. What you need is a relaxed mind. I would suggest some easy breathing exercises for you. It is it, that is. With this, YouTube will help you out.
9. Don’t Prioritise
Yeah, actually you were fucked (and you’re not loving it for a change) and that’s what moved you to post this question here. You see, we’ve got wayyy too many fucks now for a few days to give up unimportant things. Don’t! Don’t! Prioritize what is relevant and decide it. You’re holding yourself in the loop of suffering when you give a fuck about anything and all. You are cementing the foundations of your life’s unhappiness. Read the book, called the subtle art of not giving a fuck, if you want more clarification on this particular issue. It helped me, and I hope it will help you.
Ok, in a short time, this is what I will come up with and I hope this allows you to make some light of the situation in which you are.
My Solution 